People keep saying we must be special that He would trust us with trouble this big. Like Job. I don't know if that's our case...I have a terrible suspicion maybe it's more like He can't trust us with carefree happiness - maybe we'd become so free and easy we'd leave His side so He presses us to Him with pain. I can't get this out of my head.
Oh, I know Satan is somehow involved in this - in all of This: jail, prison, harrassment, limited ministry and communication, capsized boat and near-death experiences. I know he wants to end ministry and lives. However, I think God keeps allowing it because we are much more raw and tender to him when I am desperate because He is all I have.
Jesus, I want to love you even when things are great. I want to passionately seek you out even when all is right in the world. Please teach me to do that because I don't think I'm there yet and I desperately want to be.
January 27, 2015
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